My night
Job of becoming a Fly allows me to hear “only Political prayers.” And so it was on the
night of March 5, 2012, one day before the eleven States Primaries, and yes,
they were gathered in one room and thus were their prayers in the order that
they prayed.
Mitt
Romney was first and thus he prayed! O dear Caesar, I want you to send me gold and
more money. O Caesar you know how much I love money. O Caesar please give me
the victory in the majority of States, but especially Ohio, and dear master Caesar,
give Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich the courage to stay in the race, for if
either of them should drop out, well, you know what I mean. I thank you master
Caesar.
Rick
Santorum was second and thus he prayed! O extremist One, discourage Newt Gingrich and Ron
Paul to drop out of the race. O extremist One, you know I am the only true
conservative in this race; you know I have never used a condom and neither my
wife or I have ever used contraceptive, and if you cause me to win, I will work
to ban all contraceptive; ban all women from working; amend the Constitution to
make church and State one, and yes extremist One, I will reintroduce the
Inquisition not only in America, but all over the world and I will take my
orders only from the Vatican, and church and State would have no separation but
will be one. I will show the Mullahs in the Middle East
that not only they can have extremist religious Government, but that the leader
of the world, The United States of America, will work to outlaw all secular
Governments. I thank you extremist One!
Newt
Gingrich was third and thus he prayed! O President Reagan, send me more sugar Daddies
to keep my campaign going and as you know I don’t stand a chance in hell to win
even another State, but if people give me money I would remain in the race so
that my young wife Callista would continue to see me as the sexy one. O Greek gods
Reagan please guide me not to cheat on this my third wife for I am no longer
big in Politics and on top of that, I am headed in the area of seventy years of
age. O Greek god Reagan, I thank you!
Then the
Fox misnomer for News prayed!
Sean
Hannity prayed first and thus he prayed! O father of hacking Murdoch, you know I have
spent five years, from 2007 to the present day to defeat Barack Hussein Obama,
but he is not going away. Jobs are coming back; the economy is on the rebound
and the confidence of the American people are rising; O father of hacking
Murdoch, you control a big portion of the World’s media, fabricate bad economic
news, for if Obama get another four years, I don’t think I have the strength to
carry on spewing lies and fabrication for an Obama second term. You see father
of hacking Murdoch, I am not asking anything for me and neither am I asking
much. I thank you father of hacking, Murdoch.
Bill
O’Reilly prayed second and thus he prayed! Murdoch! I don’t have to call
you great one or suck up to you for I make you lots of money, so help me to
help Obama win a second term. If Obama doesn’t get a second term not only me
but most of your News Team wouldn’t have anything to report. Murdoch, I know
you follow your Fox misguided news and without having Obama to knock with all
of our lies, deceit and hypocrisy, there would be no Fox News. Murdoch, I am
not going to thank you, just do what I ask! Do you understand me Hacker?
Greta van
Susteren prayed third and thus she prayed! O great right-wing employer Murdoch,
please help Rush Limbaugh out of his foot and mouth disease, for without him to
blaspheme for me, I would be nothing. O great right-wing employer, you know I
used to be a very balanced reporter and being a lawyer I was objective and
respected, but because of the demand on the employees to run down Obama and the
Liberals, I have become the company I have been keeping. Great right-wing
employer as an example, the job reports for January and February were very
good, but to keep in line with your wishes, we have to say, February job report
reveals that 227,000 jobs were created, “but”….. Great right-wing employer I
don’t understand the “but” in positive news and I am convinced that when we
invoke the “but” in good news, we your employees and you Great right-wing
Employer, we all look like BUTTS! Help me Great right-wing Employer!
Amazingly
enough, Speaker of the House John Boehner and Senate Minority Leader Mitch
McConnell prayed last in a very soft talking duet; and thus they prayed; O
Republican Party and dedicated Republicans, we are screwed, tattooed and blued
in any chance of winning back the White House this year. We began the campaign
with a total of twelve truly nutty people and now we are left with; [1] a liar,
hypocrite, money hungry vampire, who doesn’t know who he is and will never
know, because he is on every side of every issue, Mitt Romney; [2] an extremist
of the worse kind, a person who has driven the women votes away because of his
obsession with controlling people’s sex lives and their private parts,
especially women’s, Rick Santorum, who attracts the extremists but couldn’t win
a dog race in the general election; [3] a full of gas, bloated, bifurcated hate
monger, Newt Gingrich who has more baggage than a freight train and doesn’t
know why he is running for President; and [4th] last but not least,
a crazy old man with views that is self evident that as a Doctor he must have
prescribed too much medication for himself. So dear Republicans, don’t let the
shame of these nuts fall upon us, I want to keep my position as Speaker of the
house and Mitch wants to become Senate Majority Leader, but we are so bruised
from being such obstructionists, that Polling data shows we only have a 9%
positive rating. We are so depressed, we
are going to have cocktails and lots of it, because next year; we may have to
pay for it ourselves!
Sheriff
Ali
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